From Addiction into Better Addiction

Most people who have been in touch with me know that I have an extremely heavy addiction to caffeine. I have been drinking coffee since I was a fourteen years old boy trying to pass the exams by pulling all nighters. I am 31 years old now, so it has been seventeen years of dependence to coffee.

My families and friends have tried to talk me into quitting, or reducing, my caffeine intake. My usual portion was four mugs of thick, black coffee with little sprinkle sugar every day. I usually just brushed them off by laughing heartily. I knew I was addicted, but I just did not want to quit my addiction. I loved my addiction. Having a mug full of coffee beside me while I was working or doing anything that needed concentration was like my security blanket.

I knew that I would have to quit someday, really. In fact I had tried quitting/reducing several times before with no result because my willpower in this case were too weak. Once I tried to reduce my coffee into one cup a day, and I succeeded, however, I also drank eight cups of black tea on the side. I realized that it was not working.

Seriously, I still had an intention to quit… one day. I just didn’t like the idea of being dependent on anything or anyone but God. I didn’t like the idea that I have another security blanket but the Holy Spirit. So, it’s just a matter when I would like to quit and a big HOW.

Here’s how:

My health state has been on a roller coaster ride for the past two weeks. First, I was rushed to the emergency room with a food poisoning. Soon after I had recovered, I caught the flu.

My first reaction when I started feeling the flu symptoms was my usual “Why God… why” tantrum. However, I tried to be positive and do my best to recover, which requires a discipline to actually rest from work. Yes, it is very, very hard to take a break from work, especially because I consider myself as a knowledge worker who can just work from anywhere without the necessity of office documents nor equipments. However, I will have to manage a training program next week and I know I could not afford to run it while recovering. So I really had to recover this week.
Thank God that for the most part, I have recovered from the flu.

You know what else I thank God about? I am actually free of my caffeine addiction!!
Don’t get me wrong, I had caught various illnesses that requires me to stop drinking coffee for a while before. However, after I recovered, usually I started to drink my usual intake again. This time, somehow I just did not.

Why this time?

Honestly, I don’t know.

I think all would agree that I had a strong willpower with regards to quitting coffee. After all, I have resisted the sweet temptation of quitting all these years. So, what gives this time?

It was totally God’s perfect power and timing.

I have relied on my willpower and my timing, obviously that did not work. What finally worked was God’s willpower and God’s timing. I just responded. That’s the beauty of it. I could not claim anything as my own effort. It was totally God’s.
We know God’s work by its fruit. The difference between my own effort and God’s effort is immense. Every time I tried to quit with my own power, I was miserable. The world seemed bleak and I just did not want to deal with the headache and drowsiness that comes with the cravings.

This time, I was doing it joyfully, and you know, I was excited about it. Yes, there were cravings, headaches, and drowsiness. However, somehow this time I believed that they would pass.

And you know what? They did.

These past few days I realized that even though I still have cravings, they are not accompanied with headaches nor drowsiness. My cravings was for the enjoyment, not for the addiction.

And the fruit of this whole experience is a tremendous sense of joy. A newfound freedom. It is as if I am a slave who have just been told that I am free to do as I will. I no longer worry about not having enough caffeine. I no longer feel the need of having a mug full of coffee all the time. Don’t get me wrong, I still love coffee. I realized that by not addicted, I love coffee even more. Weird, isn’t it? When I drink coffee now, my enjoyment is multiplied. It is as if God is enjoying it with me. I no longer just enjoying His creation, I am enjoying Him.

I still have a tremendous craving, only that my craving now is more focused to the One who are supposed to be my addiction: God. Yes, I only want to be “addicted” to God. Addicted to my Lover!


God bless you all,
Adrianus Indra Setiadi

Visit Indra's blog, "A Moment of Inspiration"


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Maranatha, Come Lord

During the homily, our parish priest told us that the true lithmus test if Christ was truly the center of our life would be this: If everybody in the Church said the last verse in the book of Revelation (Rev 22:20), “Maranatha!” (Come, Lord Jesus) wholeheartedly, and Jesus came at noon on that day, are we ready?

I was about to lift up my hand to say amen but I held it down when I noticed a grin on our priest. He then lifted his hands and said, “I know I am not and I don’t think anybody is. If any of you feel differently please see me after Mass and tell me how you did it.” Everybody laughed.

I did not go to him after Mass because then I would miss the chance for humility.

Just to entertain the thought, let’s say I did. Then this was what going to happen.

I would answer, “Father, eventhough I said am ready I truly can’t say that I did it. He is the One who did it through the Cross. My journey is a journey sustained by Grace. I am a sinner who has experienced the Love of God and through that experience I knew that He is so infinite that my wretchedness suddenly becomes invisible compared to His Grace, Mercy, and Love. I am ready not because I am. I am ready because God is.”

Then I would shake my priest’s hand and asked for his blessing for the journey.

For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not from you; it is the gift of God – Eph 2:8.

Maranatha, come Lord Jesus!

Bro Chan


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Humility

I had a talk with a friend of mine several months ago. He is a former Catholic who became a Protestant about eight years ago. Although I am sad every time I hear that happening, I might be one of the indifferent Catholics who would still be happy for the person, as long as s/he can find God, the Spirit, and His fruits wherever s/he is.

The thing that is weird about my friend is that he kept switching churches like television channels. I found that weird because in my experience the fruit when you are walking with the Holy Spirit is contentment. I am not saying that we should not look for improvements in our relationship with God where ever we are. However, when we feel that you cannot commit into any community or worse, any church, then I begin to question, who are we serving: God or ourselves?

Usually we are switching because we are unsatisfied with something. We are unwilling to take it, we are unwilling to make a change or change ourselves, therefore, the easy way out is to convert to another church with a belief system, culture, tradition and people that is more like us.

I find that ideology a bit self-centered. By doing that, we are claiming that the only thing matters the most is ourselves. God is working to please us, to satisfy us, and therefore, we should look for places that pleases us the most. No church, community, places, nor people should tie us...

You know, we can be somewhat biblical about that ideology, but it just does not feel right. God does not teach us to be self-centered. God can place us anywhere. There is a reason why we are in any situation, and sometimes, excruciating situation is really a chance for us to check on our intentions, on our humility, on our persistence, on our love of God no matter what.

Another one of my dear friends always said this to me: we are being placed in this situation to do great things. And I am a firm believer in that. I don't condone blind loyalty, but I do condone to find our calling: to do great things no matter what. And from that conversation, I found what is the main foundation to find our true calling, so that we don't keep wandering in the desert:

Humility.


God bless you all,
Adrianus Indra Setiadi

Visit Indra's blog, "A Moment of Inspiration"


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Evangelium Vitae

I just started reading "Evangelium Vitae" by John Paul II when his words hit me squarely:

"the joy which accompanies the Birth of the Messiah is thus seen to be the foundation and fulfilment of joy at every child born into the world (cf. Jn 16:21)."

Roughly speaking: There is (should be) a similar joy every time a new baby is born with the joy that is felt at the birth of Christ.

In fact, the late Fr. Gerald Fisher from St. Peter Catholic Church, Stevens Point, Wisconsin was also inspired by these words and this inspiration was behind the construction of "The Joyful Mother Sculpture."

Come to think of it, yes. Every time a human was born, we are celebrating the birth of a member of the body of Christ. We are made that valuable out of God's love that makes us, mere humans, as his body! How great is that!

Let's give praise and thanksgiving to God for our lives, no matter where we are and what we are called for. Let us bring the ultimate joy that is the love of God to others, just as Jesus did and still does.


God bless you all,
Adrianus Indra Setiadi

Visit Indra's blog, "A Moment of Inspiration"


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Let God Work Through Me

Which one is true: Demanding that ministry coordinators keep a certain standard, or just let it flow naturally?

I vote for the second one. I for one, hate to push people in their ministries. Why? Because I believe that ministries should be voluntary. I believe that when we love God, the end result would be that we want to serve Him, ergo, we serve His people. If we push people for ministries, the immediate result might be good, however, in my experience, they will be so burned out that their own spiritual life may be neglected. Now, I certainly would not want that to happen. The state of the shepherd can influence his/her flocks. It is a privilege that God gives us as His ministers. It is also a responsibility that He gives us.

However, being a perfectionist, it is hard to let go of my thoughts on the way it is supposed to be. No matter how perfect we plan things, still we have to give it up to God, and let God be the ultimate Minister to His own people. We are just the extension of His hands.

To throw another factor in the mix: often times, we have to get out of our comfort zones to serve his people. Otherwise, no one would be served. How would I know if my team are currently in their comfort zones and unwilling to get out of it? Would I be the one who have to guide them out of the comfort zones, or would they have to do it themselves? Argh!!! One thing I could not bear thinking is the thought of His people being neglected because we would not get out of our comfort zones to serve them.

It is funny, I don't think I have the leadership capability. I certainly don't have the stomach for it. However, somehow God always puts me in such positions.

St. Faustina once said that God always called the wretched souls to do His work. Would it be because we know that we are so wretched that we would not be able to survive without His help? And maybe he called me, this uncapable leader, so that He would be the ultimate leader. For sure, I do not have the capability to do this. I could not logically find a balance between guiding people to find their calling, and let their own natural spiritual life leads them. All I can do is to be faithful to Him. To act without fear, and let Him complete my weaknesses, or better yet, let Him work through me so that my weaknesses do not even count anymore.


God bless you all,
Adrianus Indra Setiadi

Visit Indra's blog, "A Moment of Inspiration"


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God Made a Full Circle to Elevate Me

I went to Target for my third interview. They accepted my application for the overnight shift at the store. They sent me to a pre-employment drug test as the final step of joining their team. I looked at the address 9555 SW. Barnes Rd. and nodded to myself. I knew that area pretty well because it was not that far from my house. I set my GPS and drove. Upon arrival, the GPS said the building was on my left. I looked and smiled. I basically arrived at Providence hospital where my wife used to do her internship. Across from it was another familiar building where my wife usually had her chemo.

I parked at the usual building whenever I took my wife to her treatment. I walked and saw the building on my left was 9701. I continued walking to my destination. When I got there I saw the building number was 9400. I cringed. I asked the espresso lady at the front if she knew where 9555 building was. She pointed two other buildings that she thought might possibly be the one. I walked to the first building and the number was still at 9400s. I tried the other building which was the emergency room and asked again. The person showed me where the actual front door of the building was so I could ask the receptionist. I went in and the receptionist did not know where 9555 building either. She took me to another table where patient information was. The lady there took out a map and showed me where 9555 building was. It was actually around the area where I parked my car.

Feeling funny, I walked back. On the way I saw the sign “9555” with an arrow pointing to a certain direction. Cool. I followed the arrow and I finally arrived at the building. I grinned. After about 15 minutes of walking around the big complex, the 9555 building was actually the Peterkort Center building, the exact building where my wife usually had her chemo. I even had a picture taken in front of that exact spot where it said, “9555.”

Her chemo room is on the first floor. The place I was going to was at the third floor. I entered the room and the lady asked me to take a seat. I sat down and reflected upon what just happened. I learned a long time ago that every event I am going through in life is never incidental. Everything has meaning in it and God always speaks through these daily experiences to me.

The biggest lesson I learned:

To elevate higher in God’s calling in my life, the place to start is going back to the strength of my marriage. Yes, my wife is sick right now. But just like her place of chemo is on the first floor and my destination is on the third floor of the same building, in order for me to arrive at God’s appointed destination in my life, it will have everything to do with my wife and her condition.

The second thing I learned:

I may feel lost in the journey towards the Father at times. But there is no reason to be afraid. Just like the building complex, I am already there. I am already in the proximity of God’s calling in my life. No matter how lost I am, I am already in the vicinity. It is only a walking distance to my destination. Take heart!

The third lesson I learned:

God will provide all of my needs. Just like the moment of trying to find the building, I knew I was lost, but at the same time I knew I was not that lost. I knew where things were already. I just needed to dig deeper. On the way home, I visited my wife’s chemo place to grab some hot chocolate to warm me up. God provides.

Deuteronomy 30:11-14:

“For this command which I enjoin on you today is not too mysterious and remote for you.
It is not up in the sky, that you should say, 'Who will go up in the sky to get it for us and tell us of it, that we may carry it out?'
Nor is it across the sea, that you should say, 'Who will cross the sea to get it for us and tell us of it, that we may carry it out?'
No, it is something very near to you, already in your mouths and in your hearts; you have only to carry it out.”

Bro Chan


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God Bless This Broken Road

I was sitting down on my chair deeply reflecting of what was going on in my life. The temptation to throw my rants of complain to God was there. But I chose to stand up and let my thoughts and feeling knelt down before me. By the grace of God, my freewill chose to praise His goodness and gave thanks for His neverending blessings. From the point of view of the world, everything in my life is messed up currently. My wife is going through a stage 4 cancer, my own company is still not able to cover all of the family expenses, I need to take on double-jobs while running the company, my grandma whom I love so much passed away on the same weekend and she is half a globe away from me on the other side of the world.

My spirit was crying to God and I knew He was listening. His arms are outstreched to keep me from falling. I want to please God but I keep finding ways in making him sad through my sins. But I keep running towards Him no matter what. I made a decision a long time ago that there was no one else that could take His place in my heart.

Lord, what a broken road I am walking on right now.

Then softly I heard a refrain from a beautiful song on my TV’s music channel:

“Now I'm just rolling home
Into your loving arms
This much I know, is true
That God blessed the broken road
And led me straight to you.”

God planted His words through the song. No matter how messed up the road I am walking on, no matter how screwed up and broken it is, God asked me to keep a grateful heart; A heart which blesses its surrounding whether it is cloudy, rain, or sunshine.

I started saying blessing to everything I am going through. If this broken road will lead me to His embrace, then YES, let me bless this road in God’s name!

As my heart was doing that, I saw a picture in my spirit. The blessing from my heart was like the golden stardust I threw from my hands. As the stardust sprinkled down it acted as a prism and I saw a beautiful picture of the same road I was walking on. When the golden dust settled on the ground, the broken picture emerged back. I needed to keep spreading the golden stardust in order for me to see the beauty of this road I am walking on.

So, yes Lord, I will bless this road that I may see how beautiful it actually is because this is the exact path that leads me to You. I love You Jesus.

Bro Chan
__________

Here is the complete lyric from “Bless The Broken Road” by Selah:

I set out on a narrow way
Many years ago
Hoping I would find true love
Along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign
Pointed straight to you
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart
They were just northern stars
Pointing me on my way
Into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
And led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent
Just passing through
I'd like to take the time I lost
And give it back to you

But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there, you understand
It's all part of his grander plan
That is coming true

Every long lost dream, led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart
They were just northern stars
Pointing me on my way
Into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
And led me straight to you

Now I'm just rolling home
Into your loving arms
This much I know, is true
That God blessed the broken road
And led me straight to you
That God blessed the broken road
And led me straight to you


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The Holy Spirit’s New Creation

Those months in early 1993 were transformational for me. I went to Shekinah Evangelization School 3 times a week. It was about one hour drive from my house with traffic and everything. But it did not bother me. On the other hand I always looked forward to it the moment I woke up in the morning.

I went to a very good all-boys Catholic High School. At 12th grade, I was learning advanced calculus, organic chemistry, electrophysics, mechanical physics, and some other so called “advanced” studies. I had a “so what” attitude towards these studies. People told me they were going to be useful for my future. Yeah, whatever... I got by ok, but still... so what? So, I went to school not so much for learning the materials but for the hangout with the guys.

But whenever I went to Shekinah, my soul was nurtured. For some reasons I could not yet verbalize, I knew this is “The” path I was called to walk on. I was fulfilled, inspired, empowered, and content; the exact opposite of the way I felt during the day at school.

I absorbed everything they taught me at Shekinah wholeheartedly. They didn’t need to tell me twice to do my homeworks. I did everything beyond what they asked me to. I was constantly in an atmosphere of prayer, worship, solid teachings by people I looked up to. The Spirit’s fire was burning brightly in me. I started looking at the world differently. God’s love is overflowing abundantly in me. I wanted to say “I love you” to everyone I met. My actions and attitude towards life changed. I strived to please God in everything I do.

My prayer life was growing. I read Scriptures daily. I went to Mass more than once a week. I went to Confession. Like a vacuum cleaner, I took in everything that had anything to do with God.

The nature of my relationship with my friends changed. Now instead of hanging out with the “cool” group and didn’t care about the rest, I looked for those people who were lonely and oppresed. I prayed for my teachers. Their homework did not get any easier by the way, that part was still the same :-)

I started the life of blessing. God blessed me so much that I wanted to bless others.

Sins which became “normal” in high school turned into a big deal for me. The Holy Spirit constantly pulled me to the other direction. I turned down my friend’s offers to hangout in places that would offend God. The Spirit was at work turning me into a new creation. Our big brother St. Paul wrote it beautifully.

Do not conform yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect – Rm 12:2.

So whoever is in Christ is a new creation: the old things have passed away; behold, new things have come – 2 Cor 5:17.

Glory, Praise, and Honor, to Him alone!
Bro Chan


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My Faithful God

In the midst of my trials and tribulation,
though I cannot feel You,
You are there.

In the midst of my sorrows and confusions,
though I cannot see You,
You are there.

When I fall and crumpled under the pressure of this world,
and I want to hide and run away from You,
You are there.

In the midst of my happiness, joy, and successes,
though I forget about You,
You are there.

Oh God...
How can I ever comprehend the greatness of Your faithfulness?
Your faithfulness surpasses the deepest ocean,
the highest mountain,
and the widest desert.
How great You are Lord.
How amazing You are!

Even when a mother forgets her own child,
You promised that You will never leave me or forsake me.
My name is already carved on the palm of Your hand.
The number of hairs on my head, You already know.
I was wonderfully made.

You promised me the Holy Spirit,
to be my advocate
who will always be by my side
walking and guiding me
till the end of time.

I try to run away from You,
I try to avoid You,
I deny You,
I reject You,
But, You are always there.
Waiting with open arms,
waiting for me to run back to Your embrace.

Lord,
grant me the grace of humility and obedience,
teach me with Your great wisdom,
so I may begin to understand Your great faithfulness,
so I may be Your faithful servant.
Serving You and Your people,
all the days of my life.

Hallelujah!


A Reflection from God’s Masterpiece
By: Natalia Tjokro


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Father Andres

I went to the Holy Thursday Eucharistic Celebration today at SDSU Newman Center. For some reason, my mood was really, really bad. There were some people that just ticked me off today and that pretty much ruined my mood.

The celebration was being held by Fr. Andres. I remembered that the first time I met him, he had just moved to the US from Columbia for a week. He could not speak English at all. He just smiled when he got introduced to me, and when I ignorantly spoke to him eventhough I knew he could not reply, he just smiled again and embraced me.. hahaha... that was kinda odd.

Five years later, his conversational English is still heavily accented. It is hard to understand him sometimes. However, I always admire his courage to lay his pride on the line. He sometimes would struggle to find an English word during his sermon, however, he never seemed to be fazed by that. Often times, his sermon was simple, but very touching. However, most touching of all is his demeanor at all times. You never find him in a bad mood. I think he has a very good, downright crazy even, sense of humor. Once when I went to a daily Mass at Newman Center, the bell had rung, meaning that the Mass was about to start. Upon hearing this, a student hastened because she did not want to be late. It just happened that Fr. Andres, the celebrating Priest, was walking toward the chapel at the same time and saw her running. Seeing her running, he also started to run so that she would be "late".

I wish I had his photograph so that you can see his smile. Oh man.. his smile is always so genuine, from ear to ear.

Allright.. before you think that I have a crush on him... ANYWAY......

Back to tonight. Seeing him celebrating the Eucharist with so much excitement, my mood became better. His sermon was about loving our brothers (and sisters!!) because Jesus has given us an example by washing the feet. He made us imagine ourselves sitting at a dining table with Jesus and all of our brothers and sisters as one loving family. That really lightened my mood. I even shedded a tear or two because I was so touched by the whole thing.

I thank God for Fr. Andres. His love for his ministry and for God's people is really what matters most. Even with his limited communication means, he can still be effective. For sure, he is able to touch a soul (mine) tonight.


God bless you all,
Adrianus Indra Setiadi

Visit Indra's blog, "A Moment of Inspiration"


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When We Sin, Run Hard... To God!

Once I was bringing soup to the prayer meeting. Accidentally, it spilled on my car. It was all over my passenger seat. Since I was driving I left the matter aside until I arrived. It was a long drive and when I got to my destination, it was already dark. So for the second time, I left the matter aside until the next day. For one reason or another (more like an excuse actually) I kept putting it off. Then of course, I forgot altogether about it for the next few days since I rarely used the car at the time. The next time I saw it, I said a big ooops for my forgetfulness. I grabbed a wet towel and cleaned it and cleaned it and cleaned it with no avail. The spilled soup was already hardened. It took me almost the whole hour just to completely clean it.

Sweating, I reflected upon what happened. If I had cleaned it right after t spilled, it would have taken me less than 10 minutes to do so. But I waited and waited trying to put it aside and ended up spending a lot of energy cleaning it up.

Our family also has a juicer at home. The nice thing about it is how easy it can be cleaned. Or I should say, how easy it can be cleaned when it is done right away. Whenever I wait and put the matter aside, the excess fruit has dried and hardened and it will take more like 20 minutes to scrub it.

From here, God showed how my sin works. Whenever I sin and start running away from God instead of towards Him, that is when problems start happneing. Instead of letting Him cleanse my soul right away with His blood, my sin would “dry up” and harder to clean as I try to put the matter aside. As I get used to live in sin and once it becomes something I tolerate, suddenly before I know it the presence of God is the one “drying up” in me.

The soul becomes dry, lost, empty, and confused. And as the soul is in this state, it will look for the empty satisfaction of this world to make it whole again without realizing that there is nothing in the world that can be an answer to this thirst. This thirst can only be filled by the Most High Himself. The soul would wander further and further from its Creator trying to use the chaotic noise of the world to cover up its pain. The further it gets the less Life remains. Until one day, the soul is no longer alive but just exists in bitterness.

Turn back. It is as simple as making the choice to come back to the Father. The choice is ours.

Let these words from Luke 15:18-24 be our answer to our Father’s call to come back to Him:

I shall get up and go to my father and I shall say to him, "Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I no longer deserve to be called your son; treat me as you would treat one of your hired workers."'

So he got up and went back to his father. While he was still a long way off, his father caught sight of him, and was filled with compassion. He ran to his son, embraced him and kissed him. His son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you; I no longer deserve to be called your son.'

But his father ordered his servants, 'Quickly bring the finest robe and put it on him; put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Take the fattened calf and slaughter it. Then let us celebrate with a feast, because this son of mine was dead, and has come to life again; he was lost, and has been found.' Then the celebration began.

When we sin, run hard to God.

Amen!

Bro Chan


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One Memorable Song

Let me share to you a memorable song for me. This song was sung by my friend, Rita, during a retreat a long time ago. My heart was touched deeply by this song. I think that was the first time I felt a true desire to repent.

He can turn the tides and calm the angry sea
He alone decides who writes a symphony
He lights everystar that makes our darkness bright
He keeps watch all through each long and lonely night

He still finds the time to hear a child's first prayer
Saint or sinner call and always find Him there
Though it makes Him sad to see the way we live
He'll always say, "I forgive"

He can grant a wish or make a dream come true
He can paint the clouds and turn the gray to blue
He alone knows where to find the rainbow's end
He alone can se what lies beyond the bend

He can touch a tree and turn the leaves to gold
He knows every lie that you and I have told
Though it makes Him sad to see the way we live
He'll always say, "I forgive"


God bless you all,
Adrianus Indra Setiadi

Visit Indra's blog, "A Moment of Inspiration"


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There is no Sin Too Big for God’s Forgiveness

Is there limit to God’s forgiveness and mercy for those who come with a broken heart to Him? If God could forgive Moses who was a murderer, or Mary Magdalene a prostitute, then it seems a common knowledge that there is no limit to His forgiveness. But when we fall into sin and are trapped into a guilt trip, it is very hard to realize that God’s mercy is indeed more than sufficient for us.

When David fell into adultery with Betsheba, he dared himself to turn to God once again... with a strong nudge from Nathan the prophet of course. He wrote the utterance of his heart beautifully in Psalm 51:18, “For you do not desire sacrifice; a burnt offering you would not accept. My sacrifice, God, is a broken spirit; God, do not spurn a broken, humbled heart.”

God has promised in Psalm 103:11-12, “As the heavens tower over the earth, so God's love towers over the faithful. As far as the east is from the west, so far have our sins been removed from us.”

When we think that our sin is unforgivable, we undermine the sacrifice of Calvary. We implicitly say that Jesus’ death on the Cross is not big enough for our sin. The evil one will try everything to separate us from God’s love, including throwing all the guile of his lies. When we think that our sin is unforgivable, we rely on our mind instead of His infinite Love. Come with a broken and contrite heart, and it is His Words that say, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

The Church shows us the definite God’s infinite grace through the Sacrament of Reconciliation. As the Act of Contrition is uttered and the blessing from God’s appointed representative is given, know and rest assured that God indeed erases our sin with the stamp of His blood from the Cross.

Just like the Father who is waiting for his prodigal son to go home, so is our Father in Heaven with an open arm waiting for us to come back to His heart once again.

Let’s take a silent moment for a few seconds now as we utter these words over and over again, “Father, here I am Your missing child. Forgive me for all my sins and let me go home. My home is in Your embrace. Here I am...”

Bro Chan


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Just Be There with God

As my wife is battling her condition, there were times her tummy just hurt even after her daily dose of ibuprofen. At times like those all I could do was to just sit there beside her, held her hands, prayed together, and rubbed her tummy with some eucalyptus. As she was in pain, I was deep in prayer sharing that pain. In that moment, words were insufficient to describe what’s going through in my heart. I offered and united everything to the suffering of the Cross for God’s glory.

Going through those moments, the Lord let me learn the prayer of “Just Be.” Just be there with God with my heart opened as wide as possible for His shining eyes to search and gaze it. “Your Father knows what you need before you ask him” (Mat 6:8). The heart surrenders and accepts. The faith is granted to know that everything will work for good for those who love God. The promise is instilled that God will grant us the victory at the end. The heart is crying but it knows that it is safe in God’s warm embrace.

Silence is the perfect prayer in those moments.

“When you come before the Lord, talk to Him if You can; if you can’t, just stay there, let yourself be seen, and don’t try too hard to do anything else” – St. Francis de Sales.

Bro Chan


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Our Rest is in You

I just read a quote from St. Augustine's confessions, and I think it is really true. He said, "For You have made us for Yourself and our hearts are restless until they rest in You."

I remembered the story about Martha and Mary. Martha was so busy serving that she complained to Jesus that Mary did not lift a finger to help her. I used to think that both has made the right choices, and I still am. After all, Martha was doing good works. However, I think it was the attitude that differs. When our hearts and eyes are set to Jesus, no matter how busy we are, we will find rest.

I was a very ambitious and workaholic person. I still am to some extent. I have this habit that if I go to sleep at night knowing that I still have some work pending, I would not be able to sleep at all, even though the work is not urgent. Yes, this habit is rather annoying.

And I used to be like Martha. I used to get annoyed when I saw people not having the same commitment as I did, even when the context was serving God. Usually, when I started having this attitude, the fruit of myself serving God then would be bitterness, which was not the fruit God has intended.

It is amazing how different my life had been after, by the grace of God, I understand what resting in God means. After I had started setting my eyes and heart to Jesus, suddenly, no matter how busy I am, I am still able to be a laid back person. I start to have acceptance that sometimes, the results of my work would not be as I imagined, and it is still fine by me. You see, the peace does not come from not having any hurdles at all, the peace comes from having the realization of how big and beautiful God's love is, and finding rest in that realization.

I found it rather ironic that many countries try to fight so hard for the so-called freedom, including freedom from God. The fruit of this struggle to be freed from God is that many countries become so restless. As a society, we have so many unreasonable fears. We become victims of unrealistic fear and threats that the fear mongers used to their advantages.

In addition, because of our restlessness, we started to make our own rules to make ourselves feel "safe" and "at rest". We are afraid of suffering and death, so, we created rules to prevent us from experiencing them at all cost, no matter what their implications are.

My experience in being in love with God is that He is both easy and hard to understand. When we understand and trust in Him, it is easy to understand how we are able to rest in Him. However, when the temptations and hurdles started to accumulate, sometimes it is hard to understand and believe how He can make all things to be good to us who love Him.

Reading this quote, I begin to think that we should start to ask ourselves whether we are still able to rest in Him no matter what happens. Maybe the reason life is so hard is because our hearts and eyes are set to somewhere else.

For His love is great.


God bless you all,
Adrianus Indra Setiadi

Visit Indra's blog, "A Moment of Inspiration"


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Lessons of Life from God

During my temp job doing the 5 days walk, I learned a few memorable things about life:

One told his story about his engineer dad who was brilliant. He got offers from private corporations of having up to quarter of a million dollars salary. He turned it down and stayed with the government. The reason was, “I don’t want to be rich. I just want to be secure and comfortable.”

Of course the decision is between him and himself. However, I applied the story to myself and reflected upon the Word. Jesus promises abundant life (John 10:10b). Yes, I am looking for security and comfortability but I am not stopping there. Beyond security and comfortability, there is abundant life. Abundant life is beyond money. It’s about having all of our cups in life overflowing. If there is ever security for us, it should be in Jesus alone; not in our job or the government.

One of my partners during the walk was a very hardworking lady. I applauded her determination. Both of us were wearing glasses and we laughed as the droplets of rain hindered us from seeing anything through our glasses. As we shared our life stories, she told me that she was a victim of a domestic violence and that was the reason she had to wear glasses. She has a one-year old daughter. I recalled my own son as she shared about her daughter. We both agreed that our child was one of the strongest reasons why we were out there in the cold. She was a winner. I lifted up a silent prayer for her on the way home.

One person kept whining about being cold and tired. At the end of the day, this person was beaten up physically and emotionally. Whenever we signed out for the day her face was always as cloudy as the Oregon winter clouds.

There was a huge difference between complaining and a grateful heart. When there was a grateful heart, the heart was rejoicing. Of course it was very tempting for me to join in the complaining rants. Somehow it did not feel right because I knew God’s commandment is for us to have a grateful heart. It was not easy, but it was the way God’s commandment is. I kept thanking God for having been able to serve my family and show my love to them by being out there, cold and tired. When I went home on the fifth day, I received a text message from my beloved wife, “Hang in there babe. The day is almost over. See you at home. Luv u.” That was my reward from God. I got home and there was a home-cooked meal prepared specially by my wife for me. Alleluia!

Thank you Lord for precious lessons in my life. I offer up my days to You. Amen!

Bro Chan


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Prayer for the President Elect

Father, we would like to lift up our new President Elect, Barack Obama, to You. After a hard fought political race, a winner has come forth. Grant him grace and wisdom to lead this great nation through these difficult times. Regardless of many differences in opinion, we would like to trust You, Father God, as the real leader in our life.

Humanity has come a long way to be able to elect a President who is a descendant of people who had been victims of the great evil of slavery. This we thank You.

Our time is facing even a greater slavery, the slavery of sin. Abortion, euthanasia, sexual obscurity, moral slander, and relativism, are just a few fruits coming out from our modern-day slavery. This we ask you for Your mercy.

It is never easy to be a leader. You are the true model of leadership through Your sacrifice on the Cross. Through love and humility, You showed what, who, and how true leadership is.

You are the Way, the Truth, and the Life. Help our nation to take Your Cross leadership as the one and only model. Let Your radiant Light shine forth from the mountains to the valleys of our country. Let the words “In God we trust” be a statement of our faith in You.

Use us to be the instrument of Your Love.

Use our President Elect Obama as Your channel to bring Peace and Heavenly order as You wish on Earth. We lift our new President to You. Jesus, we trust in You. Holy Spirit, blanket us always with Your anointing, the fresh fragrance of Heaven.

Amen!

Bro Chan


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A Walk For Love

Greetings in the Lord. As I have updated through twitter, I got a 5-days temp job, praise God! As my wife is going through her health condition, I am upping the ante as the caretaker of my family. I am running my own company but it is still not flying high enough to be able to cover all of our expenses. I am taking some extra jobs here and there to support my family to take over my wife’s position to provide her some breathing room to battle her condition without thinking about family finances.

My job during those 5 days was to be a part of the “Get Out and Vote” campaign. I walked door to door, knocked people’s door to remind them to turn in their ballots. I helped distribute some pamphlets for those who were undecided.

On the way to work on the first day, I heard on the Catholic radio about the position of the candidates regarding Pro-Life issues. I was praying the rosary in the car when I heard the news. I knew right away the Lord spoke to me through the radio about one of the reason I was out there doing this temp job.

During the 5 days walk, I probably cover a distance of over 35 miles. On the third day, my calf started to scream for help. Half of the time we were out there, rain was over our head and a lot of times we were soaking wet at the end of our walk.

I was cold and tired at the end of each day.

By the grace of God, during the time I did this, all my heart could say was gratitude. I was doing all this on behalf of my family. I was thankful to have two hands and feet to be able to do this job. I was thankful to have a healthy body to go out there to do the work regardless of the weather condition. I was thankful I did this for a worthy cause. I walked for Love.

Am I a Republican? Or a Democrat? That is an irrelevant question. I will use any political names in order to be used by God to further His cause on Earth.

I am a citizen of Heaven still living in this world. I am here not to separate myself from the issues of the world, but to live within it and make a difference. My allegiance is the One Triunion God. My passport is called the “Book of Life.” My nation on Earth is called the Universal Church. I derived this citizenship not because I am worthy or deserving but solely because of God’s given grace. One day if I see my Commander in Chief face to face, it is only because of His own precious blood on Calvary. The right to stand in front of Him is not earned, but granted. The honor to gaze directly into His eyes is the medal I would proudly put on my chest as the ultimate symbol of the Amazing Grace.

Help me God!

But you are “a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people of his own, so that you may announce the praises" of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light – 1 Peter 2:9.


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