Going Through Life

My life flashed before my eyes. Things passed by so fast. Scene after scene flipped quickly as a slideshow before me. I saw my son sitting beside me trying to absorb things around him. People came and went on with their day. Some people engaged me in light conversations. I was experiencing a minute version of life. I was on a train going to the Portland airport.

Many times in life time seems to fly. What do we need to do then?

Slow down.

Slowing down is a decision. If time seems to pass by too quickly, our decision to make things slower is the only thing that can make things go slower. Step back from life. Take time to smell the flowers. Kiss your spouse. Say to him or her a genuine “I love you.” Spend carefree timelessness with that special someone. Slow dance with him or her. Hold his or her hands and let gratitude flows from within.

If we don’t become the master of time, we’ll be unwillingly become its slave.

Four months, is it long or short?

Four months. That was the amount of time I had with my wife from the time she was diagnosed with cancer to the time she passed to Heaven. After living thirteen years in Los Angeles, we decided to move up to Portland. This is where God gave us a chance to slow things down. We did what mentioned above. After three years of slowing time down, God called my wife to be with Him.

There was no regret in me. Things needed to be said and done were all said and done. Rosa Tiara went to Heaven with peace. I was moving on with my life on Earth also with peace. Her mission on Earth was done. Mine still goes on.

Time is in our hand. What are we going to do with it?

Bro Chan


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Letting Go in Love

In the last month of her life on Earth, St. Rosa Tiara, my wife at the time, underwent an intense internal transformation. She was detaching herself from her attachments to this world.

One of her marvelous hobbies was cooking. Before her move to Los Angeles, she told my mother, “Ma, you are welcome to rearrange my kitchen as needed. Ask Chanuka what he needs and the rest you can giveaway as necessary. I am going to Los Angeles and there is a chance I am not going to be able to see my kitchen again.” My mom cried listening to her courageous comment. She was letting her kitchen go.

During her stay in Los Angeles, a friend asked her, “Rosa, what about your son?” She answered calmly grounded in the Lord, “You have to remember, Cyan doesn’t belong to me. He belongs to Jesus and Jesus will take care of him.” She was letting our son go in God’s hands.

About two weeks before her departure to Heaven, she and I made time to sit with each other to talk. That was the holiest moment of our marriage. Our hearts were as pure and united as ten years earlier on the altar of Matrimony. We looked eye to eye and we knew the moment had come for us to say whatever is left to say. Tears were flowing, prayers were lifted, and our hands were joined in sweet surrender unto our Maker. We won. We stayed faithful to our promise to stick together through sickness and health, richer or poorer, sustained by God’s grace. God gave us the understanding of her life’s purpose. Her words in that moment would remain as a source of strength for me for years to come. We let each other go in our hearts.

Her condition started to decline after that point in time. She could only spoke very little.

About two weeks later at the moment she passed to Heaven, I held her hands and uttered the words to her silently, “Thank you my dear. Till we meet again in God’s glory.”

Bro Chan


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Discerning the Fruits of Our Relationships

In our lives, I think it is natural for us to care for some people more than we care for others. After all, we cannot be close to everyone we had just met. However, have we ever discerned whether some of our closest relationships prevent us from loving others effectively in our ministries?

The deeper we are into religious life, the subtler the devil’s works are. Throughout salvation history, we have learned that evil often come from something good which is being distorted. It can be the case with our closest relationships. Our closest relationships can be distorted in such a way that we turn our eyes away from God the Creator of these relationships and focus too much on our closest family and friends. The enemy is the happiest when he is successful in turning our focus away from God. For when we start to lose focus, it is when all other fruits of evil starts to occur.

In the case of our relationships, it is often happens that mini-schisms begin to appear in our ministry. We may favor some people over the other too much that we ignore the others. We have clusters of servants who only care for his/her own related ministries but not the others. We begin to lose focus on the bigger picture, that is God himself and his mission that is the salvation of mankind, not just the people who are related to us and our ministries.

We should cherish our relationships, just as we cherish all that God has given to us. However, do not let our relationships turn our focus away from the Source of all Goodness, for apart from him, even the greatest of all relationships will turn sour. May our relationships be offered for the greater glory of God. May Christ himself bless all of our families and friends. May the Eternal Master of the Vineyard himself grow the fruits from our love for each other. AMEN

(Writer’s note: When I say “ministry”, I mean every aspect in our lives. I consider every aspect in our lives as our ministries, because even the smallest event in our lives can be offered for the glory of God)


God bless you all,
Adrianus Indra Setiadi

Visit Indra's blog, "A Moment of Inspiration"


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Did You Know...?

"Adoration" comes from latin root: adora-tio, which literally means mouth-to-mouth contact.

What an interesting and beautiful image on the adoration of the Eucharist. We adore the Body of Christ and therefore, we become so close in contact with Him. While we are adoring and receiving the Eucharist, we are that close to Christ, as His lover, as His bride.

Just as marriage transforms the man and the woman to become alike, the Eucharist, which is our marriage to the Lamb, transforms us to be more like Christ. That is why receiving the Eucharist frees us more and more from the slave-master relationship. We are transformed by our marriage to Christ to be children of God our Father. We inherit the Holy Spirit, which is the Love between the Father and the Son, and we also inherit Christ’s mission, which is to bring everyone to the Father’s house.


God bless you all,
Adrianus Indra Setiadi

Visit Indra's blog, "A Moment of Inspiration"


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Am I Doing God's Will?

“Who told the sun where to start in the morning,
Who told the ocean, ‘you can only come this far’
And who shows the moon, where to hide ‘til evening?
Whose words alone can catch a falling star?”
(Nicole C. Mullen’s “My Redeemer Lives”)


By: Indra

That song verse reminds me how everything in this world will not happen if God does not allow it to happen. Since it is written in the Scripture that God will never plan evil for us, that means, everything that happens to us should bear good fruits. But how?

I often have this question before I make important decisions, “How do I know if it is God’s will?”

A priest in San Diego once told me that no matter what decision I make, as long as I make it with good conscience, God will bless it. God has chosen to bless our lives. God has chosen to send his only begotten Son to redeem us from sins so that we might have abundant lives. We should choose to live in abundance. We are the one who should make this choice.

One of the tricks of the enemy is to trick us into fearing the Lord excessively. Fearing the Lord is a virtue. Not wanting to disappoint someone we love is a virtue. Wanting to make our Father in Heaven happy is noble. However, when this fear started to cripple us, preventing us from making decisions because we are too afraid, then it become evil.

There are two evil fruits from this excessive fear that I can think of right now. The first one is that we never move on with our lives because we are too afraid to make any important decisions. We become like the lazy servant who hides the master’s money in the ground (Maybe he is not necessarily lazy. Maybe he is really afraid of his master that this excessive fear prevent him from doing anything).

The second one is that we are blaming the Lord when we make a “wrong decision”. We put the responsibility on the Lord’s shoulders to make our decisions right while the responsibility is on our own shoulders. The Lord has blessed our lives. We are the one who should choose to lead a blessed life. We are the ones who should choose to live in freedom. Freedom from fear, freedom as the children of God.

Since nothing can happen unless the Lord permits it, and the Lord has chosen to give us freedom to chose, we also have the freedom to make our choices to be blessed. Any decision that we make in good conscience is blessed by our Lord. Even the decisions that we have to make though we are still unsure of are blessed by our Lord. How great is that? The key is that we have to make a commitment to make this decision right. We offer our lives, including our choices for the greater glory of God. Even when it turns out later that our decision is not the best one, we can rest assured that the Lord has blessed it. There will always be good fruits from our lives since everything comes from him, through him, and will never come back to him empty.

Live joyfully, for our lives are blessed lives!!!

God bless you all,
Adrianus Indra Setiadi

Visit Indra's blog, "A Moment of Inspiration"


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How to Keep Daily Relationship with God

I received a message from a brother in Christ through Facebook. He asked, “Chan, how do you keep your relationship with Him daily or weekly? I am asking everybody I know the same question. Thanks bro, GB!!”

First and foremost, if there is such a thing as the absolute formula for keeping a relationship with God, it would be, “But the hour is coming, and is now here, when true worshipers will worship the Father in Spirit and truth; and indeed the Father seeks such people to worship him” (Jn 4:23).

Now that being said, everybody would apply those Words in their own way; depending on one’s character and maturity in Spirit. God did not create robots; He created humanity complete with freewill.

The glimpse of keeping an intimate relationship with God would be reflected in the relationship of a man and woman who are in love. Every couple in love, while loving each other very much, would still have different dynamics in their relationship. God then granted the Sacrament of Matrimony as a place to fully express that expression of that love without limit.

So, everybody would have different dynamics too when it comes to their relationship with God.

There are three married couples that I respect deeply when it comes to relationship. All three of them have been happily married to each other for at least 30 years. They are all different people and they all have different ways of expressing their love to each other. One common denominator I can see clearly in each of these three couples would be their focus in dedicating a set amount of time to communicate to each other.

They are all well disciplined when it comes to having a regular time to talk and to be with each other. They have an uncanny ability to make the other person more important than himself or herself. It takes a lot of hard work. But after all these years, they are all living testimonies of God’s Love to those around them.

It is the same with our relationship with God.

For me personally, I set aside 4 times during my day to sit down one on one with Him. I set my alarm at 9, 2, 7, and midnight. When the alarm sounds, I drop everything and I run to the Lover of My Soul. Just like the couple in love that would drop everything when the other calls, that’s what I do. Then, I spend at least 15 minutes of silent time; sometimes more, but never less.

I am truly blessed to have a 24 hours adoration chapel only two minutes from home. On top of those silent times during the day, whenever my heart calls, I take that short drive and just spend time with the Blessed Sacrament. It is truly the presence of Jesus. When I am there, He embraces me warmly and lovingly. All of my bitterness melts away; my brokenness restored; my wounds healed; my soul calmed.

After all, Christ is the Bridegroom and we are the Bride of Christ.

Glory to the Most Holy Trinity!
Bro Chan


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God Alone Suffices

Simple. Straight to the point. Inspirational. Those are the three words I describe whenever I read this poetic prayer from our big sister, St. Teresa of Avila. Amen!

Bro Chan
__________

Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing frighten you,
All things pass away:
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things.
He who has God
Finds he lacks nothing;
God alone suffices.


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"Do-Gooders" or Holiness?

One of my favorite stories on St. Francis of Asisi’s life is when in the middle of one night, one of his Franciscan brothers kept groaning that he was dying. Francis and the others gathered around the poor brother’s bed and asked him what he was dying from. The poor brother answered “From hunger.”

Without much ado, Francis ordered the brother to be scourged and executed, for he had been an embarassment to the order.

Just kidding…. Just want to know if you are really paying attention.


By: Indra

Without much ado, Francis then ordered food to be prepared at the big dining table, and all brothers, including the dying one, dine together in the midst of the night.

I was so astounded by this gesture by St. Francis. Here he was, a man whose whole life was about fasting and mortification. He was put into this situation, and he showed great love in dealing with this brother. He understood that the brother had reached his limit in fasting, and in order for the brother not to feel ashamed or isolated from others, he ordered all congregation to dine together in the middle of the night.

I like this story because it shows how St. Francis really understood the true meaning of fasting and mortification. Fasting is not just about depriving ourselves of something good, but it is also gaining something even better, that is, the love of God. We are denying ourselves so that we become possessed by God. Yes, I do mean it, we become possessed by God.

The word “possessed” often has a negative conotation because it is usually used when someone is being influenced by evil spirit. However, actually the meaning is neutral, “we are possessed by God” means that we are becoming possessions of God. Aren’t we actually God’s possession? If only we let Him posess us so that it is he who lives in us!

We often feel that Christian life is “boring”. Probably, the reason why it is boring is because we focuses too much in fulfilling the moral conduct of Christian life and not holiness. Holiness means being possessed by God. Holiness means that his will becomes our will, and we go wherever the Spirit goes. No one can guess where it goes and so it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit (cf. Jn. 3:8). Moral conduct should be the fruit of holiness and not vice versa.

That is why the notion that Christian life is boring is untenable. Christian life is never boring if our focus is right. If we limit our Christian life as being “do-gooders”, then, yes, life will be boring and we would put too much pressure on ourselves trying to live up to our own standard. If we limit our praying life with formal prayers, how sad it would be! Imagine if I treat every person in my life formally as if we are in business function, how lonely and boring my life would be!

However, Christian life is about holiness, it is about giving ourselves to God and being possessed by his Spirit. When we are possessed by Him, then Christian life is never boring because our God is never boring. His love is new every day and no one can understand his ways. His ways is always above our ways. Imagine if his ways actually become our ways!

The conduct of St. Francis above is an example. Who can actually predict beforehand that it would be the way St. Francis handled the situation? Maybe not even Francis Himself. Maybe that is why Jesus teaches us not to worry about tomorrow, to trust fully to God who loves us so much, and to take it as it comes, for this life of being vulnerable makes us open and be faithful to the ways of God who is unpredictable and always new every day.

God bless you all,
Adrianus Indra Setiadi

Visit Indra's blog, "A Moment of Inspiration"


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Prayer to my Superman God

My God Whose unexplainable deeds encompass every space in the Universe,

I am in ecstatic awe of Your marvelous Creation. Nothing escapes Your mighty details. The wonders of Your cosmic grandeur are only glimpses of Who You are. Perfection only comes from perfection. You are the Perfection of Absolute Beauty. My heart eternally utters How great Thou Art.

Lord, I want to witness a supernova from the vastness of space. I want to fly with you across the Great Void. You are my Superman Who I am traveling with to see Andromeda and Magellan. One hundred thousand years across the Milky Way would be a great time for me to share my stories and to know Yours.

Who am I, a speck of dust in the backdrop of eternity, that You have come down through the Cross to show Your Love? You, God of the Heavens, descended to my own lowly understanding and died for me so I may live? Who else would have done that but You, my Incomparable One?

You Who is beyond my grasp, hold me tenderly close to Your Sacred Heart that I may see the wonders of Who You are.

Love is the material which You build the Universe with. You made me with the same star material and for that, I am strucked in awe.

Praise be the wonders of Your name forever, amen!

I love you my God,
Bro Chan


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God Holds His Little Heart (2)

Flashback from Part 1…

After our little family’s temporary move to Los Angeles in January 2009, many changes occurred daily. The storm was raging heavily in my heart. I flew back to Portland to finish up a few things. The original plan was for my son to stay in Los Angeles with my wife to spend time with her.

Less than two days went by. I received a phone call from my son. After a brief chit-chat, his tone changed, “Papa, can I ask you something?” I understood that tone. He had something bothering him heavily in his mind. I answered quickly, “Anything, Cyan.” I made a determination in that moment to say yes to whatever my son would ask me.

“Papa, I want to go home to Portland,” he whispered. From his tone I knew he was holding back his tears.

I had tears in my eyes. I reiterated my promise to him, “I’ll be picking you up, Cyan.”

Next day airfare is always expensive. But this was the time when my son’s trust in me is a lot more precious than any amount of money. My wife was getting weak and I was the only one my son could lean to.

Once back in Portland we continued our night talks. He was curious, “Papa, why does Mama turn yellow?” The tumor in my wife’s stomach had caused some liver failure and she turned yellow because the liver could no longer digest the food properly. She had lost about 65 lbs. at this point.

I was surprised hearing his question. Through all this madness, no one even had the chance to explain to my son in details regarding the changes in my wife’s body, not even me. We talked and prayed. After he fell asleep, I hugged him. I was so glad that we had each other on this journey. Thank you Lord for my son. Thank you for always holding his heart in Your hands.

Bro Chan


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Blessed Food Reminding Me of Home

I was born in Malang, East Java, Indonesia. I was raised all over due to my dad’s job constant relocation. When I was growing up, I always made time to go home to my little hometown at least twice a year. There were two things I enjoyed most when I stayed at my grandma’s house; first, the tea, and second, the mung bean porridge with coconut milk. I moved away from home to the US right after high school. There were many times during the early years when I really really really miss home.

But praise God that He created tea and mung bean.

The first thing I ask whenever somebody visits from my country would be to bring me the same tea my family brews in my grandma’s house.

A few years ago, my mom taught me how to make the mung bean porridge with coconut milk. I settled for nothing less than perfection. I tried a few different ways of making it. I measured the timing of putting the ingredients. I also measured exactly how much ingredients should go in. I was able to nail it to perfection. Alleluia.

Now whenever I miss home, I make either one of those two things. I close my eyes, enjoy the aroma of the tea or the mung bean, put a little taste in my mouth, and I am somewhere else.

Thank you Lord for creating Tong Tji Tea and Mung Bean with Coconut Milk. Thank you Lord for creating my tongue to connect to those things. Thank you Lord for creating my emotions and imagination that can take me to a place on the other side the world.

As I am sipping the tea right now, I offer this enjoyment as a prayer to a bestfriend whom I miss much. Blessed is Your name forever!

Bro Chan


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A Godly Motivation to Move Forward

I was running errands for my business together with my dad when I saw my old workplace, the restaurant where I used to be the store manager at. We were hungry. I shrugged my shoulder and just for the kick of it, we decided to eat there. The manager whom I happen to know well greeted me. We went to trainings together in the past. She was surprised to see me and we both laughed because we have not seen each other for at least a year.

She gave me a few updates of the same old stories; how the office politics went, how hard the supervisors still squeezed, and even some horror stories about one supervisor who was demoted from his position. On top of that, she told me the amount of hours she needed to work to please the job.

As I listened intently I sank everything I heard deep within. I made those stories as motivations for me to move forward. I let myself hear it, “Chanuka, there is only one way to go and that is for you to be successful in your ventures. Remember those days in this place? Do you want to go back in here? If you don’t, then go and make things happen. Failure means going back here. Do you understand? Do you want that?”

Nooooooo…!!!

Lord, take my hands and walk with me. Holy Spirit, I am weak but You are strong. Breathe on me and I shall renew my strength and fly higher. Holy Spirit, please come and help me. Father, I am running towards You, amen!

“I am with you always, until the end of the age” – Jesus

Bro Chan


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An Obsessive Maniac Who is Madly in Love

This could turn out to be a neverending story about me and my computer problems (sigh).

Last night, I experienced my first blackout in Indonesia. There were a big thunderstorm before, and I think a lightning finally struck an electrical pole. Thank God the blackout did not last long.


By: Indra

The first thing that I worried about during the blackout was my server computer. I was worried because it had no adaptor, nor power supply. I was right. When the power was back, I noticed because of the sudden loss of power, it gave a chance for a virus to come in. The virus was the same one that had made me reformatted that computer several weeks ago.

I tried to clean the computer for several hours to no avail. Finally, it was time to sleep and I decided to get some sleep first. However, after several hours of sleep, I woke up and could not fall back into sleep because I keep worrying about my beloved server. Finally, I contacted my friend and asked him if there were any other ways to get that virus out. He gave me one way and then told me that I was an obsessive maniac, and that I needed to get some sleep… LOL.

This morning, the first thing that I remembered after I went to mass was that computer. I wanted to try my friend’s cure. Praise God it worked. Now I can breathe easily again and sleep sounds good. Only now, it is already 8.45 am…

This whole episode got me thinking about how God has the similar (but much stronger) passion for us. If I am an obsessive maniac, He is the champion of all obsessive maniacs Who is madly in love with us. He constantly remembers about us and He would never stop trying to heal us, to give us better lives that are united with Him. Rejoice and be glad, because He loves us so much and He is faithful. If we feel sick in body and spirit, if we feel dry, or if we feel lonely, remember that He is with us always. There is always Someone that is madly in love with you and He is the most loving, the most gentle, and yet the most powerful person(s) in the world

God bless you all,
Adrianus Indra Setiadi

Visit Indra's blog, "A Moment of Inspiration"


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Song at the Altar of God

December 19, 1998, Rosa Tiara and I lit our unity candle on the altar of God. Our promise of sticking together in our hearts during sickness and health, poor and rich, were knit. As we lit the candles, we both sang the song we both composed for our wedding day.

This is the same song we sang ten years later at the hospital, as she was about to go into the surgery to determine how her malignant tumor obstructed her colon.

As beautiful roses bloom in the warmth of the sun
Surrounded by the dew that cheer up the Earth
And all other good things that the Lord has done
Just for the two of us

The Lord created You
As one of the best creation
And placed you by my side
To be together

Chorus:
Hand in hand with you forever
Walking through this life and lead by the Lord
I have confidence in our love
The love we share each day

Bridge:
God has made us one
In His loveliness
So we could share our love
In Him

Rosa Tiara, my personal saint in heaven, thank you for the time you spent on Earth with me. Your presence taught me about what love and sacrifice means. Your life changed me forever. I am a better person because of you. Thank you.

Bro Chan


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No Regrets in Sacrifice

When I heard Matthew 16:24 “Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross and follow me,” I could not help but thought about the issue of denying oneself again. How can one do this without any regrets?

Maybe the answer is on what we can gain by denying ourselves. I am reminded about how St. Francis of Assisi lived. His life was a complete denial to himself. In denying himself, he gained so much more. He gained Jesus the lover of our soul.

Married couples probably can easily understand this concept. In marriage, they sacrifice some of their selfish desires because they know that they are gaining so much more in their spouses. They are willing to make this sacrifice because they love each other and they know that by having each other, they become complete. They can make these sacrifices without any grudges because they know that each is making his/her own sacrifices willingly because each has this same realization.

The reason why sometimes we find denying ourselves so hard was probably because we do not realize how great is the reward. The reward is Jesus himself. He is the one who can complete our lives even more than anyone we love. He is the one who has loved us first. He is the one who has done the tremendous sacrifice. If we can continue to know him more and more, to feel his love, to fall in love with Him, and to be amazed by Him, then any kind of sacrifice should be worth it. We are sacrificing little things to gain so much more.


God bless you all,
Adrianus Indra Setiadi

Visit Indra's blog, "A Moment of Inspiration"


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100th Day of Heaven

Today is the 100th day of my wife’s passing to Heaven. Or more appropriately, I should say, the passing of our beloved sister in Christ whom I knew so well because she happened to be my wife on her days on Earth. She always desired happiness and what a perfect tribute that she is now one with Joy Himself!

Every now and then, my son always asks the question, “Papa, what do you think Mama is doing right now?” I always answer the same, “Cyan, I don’t know what she is doing now, but I know she is very very very happy.”

Sometimes out of his creativity he answered back,

“She is trying out her new wings… Oh wait, she is not an angel, she is a human being, can a human being have wings, Papa?”
I smiled wholeheartedly.

“She is cooking for Jesus with the angels.”
I smiled wholeheartedly.

“She is trying out her new Heavenly dress. What color do you think it is?”
I smiled wholeheartedly.

“She is helping people and children on Earth.”
I nodded convincingly.

Thank you Lord for my son.

The other day a brother in Christ called to check on me. We know each other well since 2002. I told him how I juggle three things in life at the same time right now: running a business, doing household chores, and taking care of a child. I shared with him that many times it still goes over my head. Then I popped a question jokingly, “So, to make it simpler for me, do you think I should look for a maid or a wife?”

I caught him off-guard. I didn’t mean to but I did. He went silent for about a second and answered seriously, “A maid definitely would be better because it’s going to be a lot of hassles looking for a wife just for those things.”

I smiled silently, then said with a serious voice, “Oh OK, I’ll consider a maid in that case…” Then we continued on talking about other stuff. That was a surprise smiley moment. Thank you Lord.

I knew my saintly “wife-used-to-be” smiled sweetly from Above listening to those.

A Mass would be celebrated to honor Rosa Tiara’s 100th day entrance to Heaven. Our sister in Christ, my saintly-wife-used-to-be, Saint Rosa the Tiara of God, please do continue to pray for us, the pilgrim Church on Earth, amen!

Bro Chan


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Bless This Office, Lord

I would like to give thanks to God for X Square Creative, Inc., the design corporation I am building. Lots of hardowrk were poured into it. It’s not perfect yet, but it’s ready to fly. After a week of soft launch, getting some clients without having the actual office, finally we were able to get a little office space only two exits away from where I live.


The view from the front door (well, the only door I mean, LOL...)


"Bless this office, Lord..."


"I need to do something to these white walls..."

We were looking at a few locations, made some bids, did not get through, and tried again. God worked in a very interesting way. Initially, we looked for the smallest office space we could find around town. There was one 390 sq ft. space. The price was right. Paperwork was prepared but it did not get through. They gave it to an “established” company they said. We pressed forward, in prayer and also in our practical effort.

The day the deal did not get through, suddenly there was another space available. The tenant moved to a bigger office and left that space behind. The space was even smaller, 260 sq ft. But, it was actually perfect for us! I loved it, perfect size, perfect price, and perfect location.

This venture is going to be another stepping stone in my life journey towards Heaven. I open my hands and say, “Here I am Lord, I receive You, I receive all. I am not holding anything back, Jesus. You are my Abundant Life. Here I am. Thank you thank you thank you for all Your overflowing blessings. Only goodness and love will pursue me all the days of my life; I will dwell in the house of the LORD for years to come (Psalm 23:6).”

Please keep me in your prayers.

I am also excited because this office would be the place where BeaconsOfLight.net will enter its next phase according to God’s own divine plan. Pray for this website.

In the name of the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit,
Bro Chan


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A Visit from A Sister in Christ

I would like to share an email from Betti Simon, a sister in Christ whom I have the privilege of knowing since 1996. It is funny, heartwarming, sincere, and inspirational, all mixed into one. It showed how God continues to use St. Rosa Tiara as His instruments.

Betti is a wonderful wife and mother of three. God used her prayers as one of the pillars that shielded me from the storm I went through in my life journey.

Betti, you are an umbrella of faith.

Bro Chan
__________

Hi Chan,

The love and peace of God be with you always.

I’d like to say thank you for the direction to the Mausoleum. As we entered the Cathedral, the church bell rang. I said a little prayer for our visit, for my family in particular. The Cathedral is magnificent. We were in awe. The mausoleum is very grand and majestic, and very... very... BIG!!

I printed out the direction to get to Rosa’s cube from your email. No difference, I was still lost. You know, I am sooo directionally challenged. My kids were hyper at that moment too because they were overtired, way passed their nap time. They ran around, laughed, and screamed. You know, you can't really stop a preschooler, a toddler, and a baby from making noises. There were a few visitors at that time too. I felt uncomfortable.

At the moment I almost gave up, I said a little prayer, "Rosa, I really wanted to pay respect to you and introduce my family. But we are lost. You need to help me find your resting place or I have no choice but to turn back and leave because I can't have my kids disturbing the peace.”

At that moment, it felt like somebody was tugging me so I turned around and looked up. There it was, Rosa's cube.

My eyes were misty. God heard my prayer through Rosa and answered it at that exact moment. I had mixed emotions. I prayed thanking God for using Rosa as His hands. I wish I knew Rosa more than just a distant acquaintance. For extraordinary examples that Rosa had exhibited during her living years here on earth, I prayed for me and my loved ones to have the courage to follow her footsteps. I prayed for you & Cyan. How much you both must miss her, especially it was close to Mother's Day when I visited her urn. And lastly, I prayed through Rosa's intercession for my family. I have been praying regularly through her intercession, along with other more "senior" saints that are close to my heart. You can say that I have adopted her into the family of my favorite saints.

We didn’t stay long. It was hard to pray while my kids were running around and laughing. So we went up to the Cathedral and admired the paintings and the building. When we stepped out of the Cathedral, the bells toiled again. It was exactly 1/2 hour since we stepped our feet inside the church and stepped out our feet outside the church. Coincidence? I think not.

I read your blog about Cyan's project for Mother's Day. As a mother, I was truly touched. You have a child with a BIG heart. And I know God will pour Cyan's heart with even more compassion and love so his heart will grow even bigger and bigger.

Lastly, I want to say happy belated Mother's Day to you. For you are both a father and a mother to Cyan. As always, God bless.

Your sister in Christ.


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Apostolic Honor for Saint Rosa

January 2009, as Rosa Tiara went through her condition bravely, our little family received one great honor from Heaven. God sent one of His Apostles to visit her. Bishop Gerald Barnes of San Bernardino Diocese was able to stop by for an hour to spend some time with her. I fell down on my knees thanking God for this occasion.

What more could I say? My prayers of surrender to God’s divine plan had been lifted day and night. God knew exactly how to sooth my anguish soul. In my mind’s eyes flashed images of the twelve Apostles of Christ whose authority had been passed down over generations. Two thousand years later, one of the people holding this authority actually came to my wife’s bedside to celebrate the liturgy of the Word and Eucharist with her? I was speechless.





One of Rosa Tiara’s prayer petitions was for a safe journey to Heaven. God had worked this answer and in faith we both knew it was granted. But for God to do the extra mile and sent His Apostle to strengthen this petition, Rosa Tiara surely had her place in God’s heart.

Before going home, the dear Bishop mentioned to our friend about Rosa Tiara, “When I was with her, I learned about something… I learned about faith.”

Thank you Jesus for the honor You gave Rosa Tiara. Thank you for the shower of blessing and unending kindness over the people You love. Amen.

Now, Rosa Tiara is in Heaven doing her work of love for God. St. Rosa the Tiara of God, pray for us, the pilgrim Church on Earth.

Glory be to the Father, to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit…
Bro Chan


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Sowing the Seeds

When I lived in California, I have had a chance to visit Las Vegas several times. Every time I visited Las Vegas, I was always amazed how humans could develop a city in a desert into a successful gaming haven. How much effort they must have spent into developing that area!

I am reminded about the parable of the sower (Luke 8:4-8). There are so many possibilities that can happen to the seeds, and only seeds that fall on the fertile ground can grow abundantly. In ministrial setting, I used to think that this parable means that there would always be some people who would reject the word of God, and we have to let go and let God; waiting patiently for God to make the ground fertile.

That would be true to some extent. Sometimes, we have to open up to the possibility that God can use us to make the ground fertile. If the people who first developed Las Vegas had waited until the ground and the climate to become better first before they performed any work, we would have no Las Vegas (for better or worse… LOL).

Imagine if we are farm owners, and our workers refuse to work in an area of our farm just because that area is too tough, wouldn’t we be upset because our farm does not (and will not) produce to its full potential? Wouldn’t we ask our workers to prepare the area for farming, so that next time we can sow in that area?

I think the same concept applies in spreading God’s Word. God is always so gentle that he will prepare us first and make sure that we are ready before we receive more of him. One thing that I know is that Jesus never leaves us if at first we do not receive him. Who are we to act differently to our brothers then?

This is not an urge to just say “yes” to any ministries that are being offered to us. We still have to discern those. This is an urge to not writing anyone off just because we do not like them, or they seemed to be different in spirituality. It is easy being good and understanding Christians in the midst of people who are like us. It is a challenge from God to still be good Christians in the midst of people who are different.


God bless you all,
Adrianus Indra Setiadi

Visit Indra's blog, "A Moment of Inspiration"


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Bless and Be Blessed

I was awakened in the middle of the night. My heart was pounding restlessly. That was one of the ways God called me to prayer. I sat down on the side of the bed and started praying. The restlessness did not go away. I knew that was the time to humble myself and ask others to also pray for me. I sent a text message to a few brothers in Christ. We agreed a long time ago to text message each other whenever one of us needed prayer in the wee hours of the night. Two of them were living in Indonesia. One of them texted me back agreeing for my deliverance. I nodded in faith. Then my cell phone rang. What? At 2 am?

The second person, Kevin Darmawan, whom I sent the text message to, called. He sounded fresh. Well of course, it was 4 pm in the afternoon on the other side of the globe. He was making sure I was ok. What a brother in Christ I have! Thanks bro…

We shared a few victories. We also shared a few life challenges we were facing. Yes, we comforted each other. However, as I started comforting him on his life challenges, I felt there was a blanket of peace came down upon me comforting my restless heart.

“Give and it shall be given unto you…” (Lk 6:38).

I am always in awe pondering God’s Words above. It never fails in my life. That is always the way God wants it happen.

When I am restless, comfort the restless ones, and I will be comforted. When I feel that people don’t smile at me, I start smiling, and suddenly smiles are all around me. When I am lonely, reach out and be a companion to others who are lonely, and God’s companionship is falling upon me so I am no longer lonely. When I see that blessings start to dry up in my life, I start blessing others, and God’s blessings start pouring again. When I am lacking time, start giving time to others, and time becomes abundant. When I am lacking money, start giving money to those in need, and money start to flow. When people aren’t sweet, I start to be sweet first unto others. When I am lacking of love, start loving first.

Our God is everything there is. He is Life, Abundant Life. When we start giving and blessing others, we take on God’s character. As we conform to His image, the way we are always intended to be, suddenly God’s promises fall on us, “My son, you are here with me always; everything I have is yours” (Lk 15:31).

Start blessing others, and notice how God is blessing you.

Glory be to the Father, to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit,
Bro Chan


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For Mama in Heaven (2)

From Part 1…

The Mom Poem, as narrated by Cyan Erdita.



“Here is my mama. I love you Mama. The color of the envelope is blue because that’s the color she wore in her funeral.”
__________



“That’s the picture of my smiley face on the left. The black thing on the top right is my piano. The hearts are for her.”
__________



“This is me and Mama in Castle Park waiting for the log ride. I said “yes” because I am finally tall enough to get on.”
__________



“I like to challenge my mom to play piano.”
__________



“I like her hands because it cooks so I am not hungry.”
__________



“My mom’s voice sounds like an angel.”
__________



“I like her voice so I can laugh with her.”
__________



“When she is mad she has a soft voice. When she is happy she sounds kind and makes me smile.”
__________

Have a blessed Mother’s Day!

This poem is dedicated to all motherless children.
Also dedicated to one particular mother who has lost her baby at birth.

Much love,
Bro Chan


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For Mama in Heaven (1)

Mother’s Day 2009 would be the first time my son is going to celebrate the day without his Mama physically beside him. I know Cyan’s Mama is watching from Heaven. I leave everything in God’s hands. Two days before the actual Mother’s Day, I received the following email from Mrs. Laura Manning, my son’s first grade teacher.
__________

Dear Chanuka,

I wanted to let you know that Cyan is bringing home 'Mom' poem. As part of our poetry unit, the kids were writing poems about their moms to give as a gift for Mother's Day. I talked to Cyan about it, and was very willing to give him an alternative activity. He insisted that he wanted to write the poem, and then he wanted to take it down to LA to her someday.

I continue to be impressed with him! Thanks for you and Rosa, he's a remarkable young man. He's well-grounded and very articulate.

He's going to be sharing this poem with you this weekend. I wanted to let you know the background to it.

Laura :)

__________

One of my callings in life is to be a “family man.” Receiving this kind of email stirred up a lot of warmth in my heart. The gentleness of God’s Love was washing me as I read those words a few more times. Truly, Cyan Erdita is the jewel of my marriage with Rosa Tiara. I thank God for him.

Every night I teach my son these words in our prayer, “Lord, let Mama pray and watch over me always.” Following prayer he sometimes asks me question about a lot of things. Those are the times we usually share our feelings. Other times, he just goes directly to his favorite nightly request, “Papa, can you scratch my back?”

Every time I scratch his back, I always say my silent prayer. “Lord, thank you for giving Cyan to my marriage. Help me to be a good father to Him the way You always are to me. Let my son grow up to be a gentleman who is also Your warrior. Be in his heart always and guide him through his life. Let him realize all the talents You have invested in him. Be his protector. Shield him with Your might. Cover him with Your blood. Walk with him always…”

On Friday afternoon he came up to me very excited. He took out a blue envelope and said, “Papa, I made a poem for Mama, would you like to open it now and read it together?” I smiled, “Cyan, we’ll wait until the night before Mother’s Day and we’ll open your poem and read it together in our prayer, OK?” He nodded.

Continued on Part 2…


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Holy Text Message

I dropped my phone in the toilet. Sigh… Yeah, that was a fact :-) I had to use my old phone temporarily until I could get a replacement. I always wanted to get a more sophisticated handset that could keep up with my life demands. So, this was the perfect timing to look for a new one. As I was using my old phone, I dug up an old text message, “Yang, welcome hm, udah sampe blom?” (Dear, welcome home. Have you arrived yet?).

This was my wife’s text message as she was welcoming my son and I from our long, long, long trip from Indonesia at the end of August 2008.

This was about one month before she got diagnosed with cancer.

As I was looking at the message, God’s Love is warmly washing me. He always knows how to touch my heart to make it whole. Through the text message God reminded me of the beautiful love I had the privilege to receive constantly from Rosa Tiara, my beloved girlfriend for 5 years who became my wife for 10 years.

She passed away from her condition.

My eyes were fixed on those words on the phone screen. God knew how similar those words were with the words I uttered on Rosa Tiara’s memorial service. “Dear, welcome home. Have you arrived in Heaven yet?”

The way God used her to answer my prayer a few days after her passing assured me that she had. I thank God for that.

How holy was that text message. It is holy is because it was written with love.

St. Rosa the Tiara of God, pray for us…

Glory be to the Father, to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit,
Bro Chan


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A Seven Years Old’s Innocent Prayer

I was at McDonald’s with my son when I got a call from a brother in Christ who is also one of the prayer warriors whom I know always have me within his prayer umbrella. He shared about the gift of life, his upcoming baby, God sent to his marriage. It was a joyous news. After hanging up the phone, I asked my son who was running around in the playground to stop so we could say a prayer for the baby. I asked him if he wanted to lead. He did not think twice.

“Lord, please take care of the baby so she is not gonna die…” Then he continued mentioning the name of a beloved sister in Christ who had lost her baby at birth.

I said silently, “Lord, what a gloomy start...” I wanted to intervene to redirect my son’s prayer, but instead, God intervened. He stopped me before I got a chance to say anything. He wanted me to just sit down and listen.

My son continued, “Lord, please let her arrive safely here. And please give her a lot of advice when she is on Earth, amen!”

My son’s innocent eyes and heartfelt words made me bubble with tears, “My God, I saw firsthand what a prayer truly is, empathic and heartfelt, straight to Your heart.” From the mouth of a babe I was learning again about our Almighty God. We hugged and I said, “Thank you Cyan. Good job!”

My son doesn’t know anything about theology yet. He doesn’t even know what the word means. Forget philosophy! I did not even bother to ask why he mentioned a “she” instead of a “he” or vice versa. All I know with conviction is that the prayer reached God’s heart.

Glory be to the Father, to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit…

Bro Chan


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Maturity of the Spirit

A brother in Christ emailed me a wonderful question, “Chan, what does being mature in spiritual life mean? Or mature in social life in our relationship with family and friends mean? What are the criteria that a person is mature?

Thumbs up for the question. It is deep indeed. We can even ask our big brothers and sisters in Christ, the saints, and they would come up with answers from different angles. However, the theme would centralize on one subject, Love.

Whatever happens in the spirit will always express itself on social level. So, let’s dig to the deepest layer of our soul to begin answering the question.

The Catechism taught us that the reason we live is to love and to be loved by God. God is Love. Love is evergiving. Therefore we are created in the image of God to share and be part of this Love who is God Himself.

To shed more light to the question, we can learn from three big brothers in Christ, St. John the Apostle, St. Paul, and St. Patrick of Ireland.

“He must increase; I must decrease" (Jn 3:30).

This is the measurement of our spiritual maturity. How much are we infused by Love who is God Himself? When people see me, who do they see? Am I reminding them of Jesus? Are they seeing God’s face in me? When the radiance of God is fully enveloping us, that is when we are mature.

“Yet I live, no longer I, but Christ lives in me” (Gal 2:20).

God’s perfection or full maturity is reached when St. Paul’s words are what is going on in our lives. Because at this point, it is God Himself who is dwelling and glowing in full radiance in us.

St. Patrick of Ireland mentioned,

“Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down, Christ when I arise,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.”

Notice the last four lines of St. Patrick’s prayer, especially the last two. That is the perfection of our maturity; when every eye that sees me, sees Christ, when every ear that hears me, hears Christ.

Does it mean that God wants to wipe out our individuality and replace it with Himself? Not at all. We are the Masterpiece in the hands of the Artist. The Artist is God Himself. We are different vases in the hands of the Master Potter. We are painted with different patterns. All different, but all are beautiful because the Artist is the Eternal Beauty Himself.

When the vase is full of the Living Water, it completes its function. How full is our soul with Him? Moreover, we must not be satisfied with just being full. The real question is, are we overflowing with His radiance? When we are, that is when we are complete and mature in God who is Love Himself. That is what Heaven is all about. It is the place of beautiful vases with beautiful patterns that overflow with the glowing water from the River of Life.

How do we start filling our vase with the radiance of the Living Water?

The next time our friends and family do things that annoy us or even hurt us, how do we respond? Do we come up with an inconvenient grumble or with heart full of love? Do we hold grudges or release them in forgiveness? When we respond with Love the way Jesus would, that is when the water level in our vase increases. My prayer is that the next time we see each other face to face, we can be both overflow with Love, who is God Himself. Amen!

Glory be to the Father, to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit…

Bro Chan


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Winning in God

My son doesn’t like losing. He was playing outside with other kids in the complex just like any other day, then one of the children knocked on my door telling me that Cyan was crying. I went outside and saw him sat on the curb. I asked what happened. In between tears he told me, “I lost the game…” A combination of a tired seven-years old and his competitive drive put him over the edge and broke down in tears. I sent him to his room for a timeout.

After he calmed down, I sat down with him. The last thing I would say would be, “It’s ok Cyan. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.” I heard that statement many times as I was growing up. After I encountered God, I did many soul searching. As I let God searched my heart, I realized I was so accustomed to that statement. It became an excuse for me whenever I fall short of what I was trying to achieve.

God has promised victory when He dwells in us. With God all things are possible (Mk 10:27). Through the gift of Baptism, He is within me and He is the victorious One. So, who am I to say that I sometimes win sometimes don’t? Is God sometimes in me sometimes isn’t?

I am Cyan’s Father. I am going to pass on God’s perfection the way He taught me.

“Cyan, I appreciate your competitive drive. That is a very good thing son. That drive will bring you to many beautiful places. However we need to channel that drive into the proper mindset. We win not by beating others. We win when we conquer ourselves…”

Only a few days apart, my son got a speech assignment from his class. He was very excited and practiced many times. However, the night before he presented his talk, he cried for 15 minutes because of “fear of failure.” He was scared that he wouldn’t get 4, the highest score, but would get a 1 instead, “I could just feel it, Papa.”

“My son, God gave you many talents. It is my duty to make you realize that. You have practiced well. Tomorrow, you go up there and give it your all, son. Giving your all means grabbing your fear, let it kneel before you, and with courage you conquer. Don’t think about anything, just have fun presenting your speech.”

He got home happy because he got a four! I cheered loudly, “Yes Cyan, my man, you win, you win, you win…” He stopped curiously, “Nobody won anything, Papa.”

I gave him the lesson of the week, “Cyan, you win not by beating others. You win because you have conquered that little voice in your head that held you back. Yes, yes, yes!”

I gave him a hug and we cheered loudly together….

Bro Chan


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The Most Beautiful Thing We Can Give Him

I remember that from a little kid to teenager, I always had a hard time finding presents for my mom. She seemed to have everything. Furthermore, my allowance came from her. Therefore, technically, if I bought something for her, it would be as if she was buying it herself.


By: Indra

My mom has a weird affinity for dogs. She likes looking at them, however, she could not stand being around a live one that much. Therefore, she collected many dog figurines. A big part of her collection came from me, my brother, and my sister. Every time we were confused on what to get her for special days, we just got her a dog figurines. It was an easy way out for us.

My poor mom must be sick getting all those figurines at some point. Yes, she likes dog figurines, but I don’t think she likes those THAT much. She has a huge transparent cabinet at home to put all of those figurines in display.

Needless to say, she definitely did not need that many figurines. She would have been able to bought them herself, and probably after years of getting almost nothing else but those figurines, she finally figured out anyway that the reason we got those was that we did not know what else to bought for her. However, because of her love for us, and because she knew that deep inside, the thought of getting her presents came from our love for her, she always received those joyfully. I think almost all parents would do and feel the same.

If I compare it with the relationship between God and myself, it is pretty similar. God does not need anything from us (cf. Ps. 50:8-14). After all, everything that we have comes from him. When we fast, it does not mean that he has a bigger food portion. When we praise and worship him, he has that already with the Seraphims singing “Holy Lord” eternally.

Just like my mom, the biggest joy that God gets from our sacrifice and offering is our love for him. He would then receive those joyfully because of his unlimited love for us. He would never ask us for the impossible, that is, giving him something that he does not have. Rather, he would ask us to offer him our hearts, to sing our praise and thanksgiving to him with our whole heart and soul.

Come to think about it, we know that God can do anything. His plan can never be stopped. The only thing that can “stop” God, is our free will. He chooses never to trespass our free will even though he has every right to do so. He is that gentle to us, that he wants us to love him because of our conscience of his goodness, not only because we feel obliged to him. The most beautiful thing that we can give him then, is our love for him and obedience to him with our own free will.

Yes, sometimes, just as I look for dog figurine as an easy way out to please my mom, we often thought of our prayers, sacrifice, and offerings as easy ways out to please God. Our prayers, sacrifice, and offerings often lose meanings because we no longer do it because we love God, but because we feel obliged to. This is not the kind of relationship that God wants from us. When we choose with our free will, without feeling any obligation, to offer our sacrifice, praise, and thanksgiving for him, when we choose freely to love him, it is the most beautiful thing that we can give our Eternal Father.

God bless you all,
Adrianus Indra Setiadi

Visit Indra's blog, "A Moment of Inspiration"


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We’ll Share These Moments Forever

This song by Bill Batstone and Tom Coomes is Saint Rosa Tiara’s favorite. We had many slow dances in the beginning years over this song to celebrate our love; the love that would bring us to the Altar of Matrimony to create our life story together.

How appropriate it is to share the song as a reminder that she is always going to be special in my heart. How fitting it is to take a glimpse of her heart that is always creating special stories for those who ask for her prayers. How beautiful it is to know that this is the kind of relationship she wants to create in every soul as they journey towards God.

God is her ever desire. Her pleasure would be to bring souls to enter into the glorious mystery of the Trinity she is experiencing right now.

St. Rosa the Tiara of God, pray for us…

Bro Chan
__________

We’ll Share These Moments Forever

The moments of caring
The moments of sharing
They're the times that mark the miles stones along life's way
They're the miracles of love that happen every day
We'll share these moments forever

The laughter
The cares
Our hopes and our prayers
We'll share these moments forever
The joy and the tears of life through the years
These moments will live forever

A lifetime together
A lifetime to remember
You and I have found so many memories
In the precious moments shared with friends and family


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